Ok, so this will be my first proper post, I guess. I have no idea what’s going to happen here – but we’ll give it a go! (Story of my life.)
I should start of by saying that I’ve always, ALWAYS wanted to do this and have actually kept blogs in the past (MySpace, the good old days.) along with written journals. I think I must’ve committed to about 4 proper diaries between the ages of 12 and 26: a little pink one with pictures of P!NK stuck to the front (an obsession), a Tatty Teddy one which was mainly dedicated to teenage angst, a yellow padlocked one which an ex boyfriend brought me to keep a record of my university adventures and, most recently, a silver one – perhaps the most important because it lead me here.
Looking back, I’ve written quite a lot of poetry too. My very first poem, I wrote when I was 7 years old, and it was printed in the Wellesbourne newspaper. I think it’s in a memory box somewhere so I will definitely post it on here once my Mumma (hero) finds it for me. I’m sure that I describe a make believe carousel as ‘glittering and galloping’, so my descriptive techniques haven’t really progressed in the last 19 years but at least I’m staying true to myself! Haha. I have other books (lost now, unfortunately) full of secret poetry I would write whenever I was feeling conflicted; I would love to find out where they are because I bet they’re full of raw, teenage material that I couldn’t even attempt now or at least completely cringeworthy and worth a laugh.
LowenaPoet has felt like a ‘coming home’ of sorts. I didn’t really realise how lost I had gotten until I began to write again and reignited my love and NEED for it. Through Lowena I was able to voice my true thoughts, when I couldn’t vocalise them out loud as myself, and I gained so much confidence hiding behind her name. She represented everything I aspired to be back in June 2016 (and actually, thinking about it, throughout my whole life): confident, kind, independent, happy, resilient, soft, self loving and most importantly, unafraid. I didn’t feel like any of those things AT ALL – though I’ve always been good at putting on a great front of confidence – but in fact, I felt absolutely horrendous and perhaps lower than I’ve ever been. Through being totally vulnerable, and having absolutely nothing left to lose, I began to get brave. I started writing my feelings down, reigniting my love for poetry – with as much honesty and integrity as I could muster (I owed it to myself) – and I finally felt like I had a voice, for the first time in a really long time. I never expected to gain a following, I didn’t start posting on instagram for that reason but somehow I did. And now we’re a year down the line and LowenaPoet has over 15,000 followers and thanks to you and the INCREDIBLE support I’ve received from friends and family, I now possess every single trait that I felt I’d lost. I am confident, kind, independent, happy, resilient, soft, self loving and most importantly, unafraid.
Now we’re here, I’ll tell you all about it.